Monday 5 March 2012

Change Is The Result Of Personal Development

On the back of recent events, I have realised how much I have changed as a person and how much I continue to develop.

If I look back at the music I used to listen to, there is no way that it would find any place on my play-lists today. I then look at the people I used to associate myself with and the people I associate myself with now, and there is not one person that I can call my 'friend' from a few years ago. I use the word 'associate', as that is all they were, associates. This makes me wonder whether I have 'changed' or 'developed' as a person. Maybe my taste in music will shed more light on the matter.

For anyone that knows anything about me, they will know that I am fiend for rock music. Anything with a guitar and set of drums will do me just fine. But many may not know that I was once a 'holic' of rap and hip-hop up until around five years ago. Anything with a cool beat and manufactured drums captured my musical fetish. Now? Well, anything other than rap. A stark contrast to five years ago by anyone's standards. Was this me changing as a person, or was it a result of my development?

I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is, ''is 'changing' a bad thing?'' To me, it suggests a lack of loyalty towards something and points towards a negative outlook. But is it really that bad? Or is it the result of a development, like the case with my musical preferences. My iPod play-lists have changed, yes, but it is the result of a hunger for new artists and diversification into a new range of music. Does it stop there? No, I don't think it does, because Miley Cyrus just made it onto my iPod.

I am on Twitter @DanOverboardNJ

Thursday 1 March 2012

To Conquer Fear, You Have To Beat Fear

I am in the midst of overcoming my biggest fear, something that has been a stumbling block for me. I thought I'd shed some light on it.

Facing up to a fear can be daunting, whatever it is. It's not that you don't want to overcome it, it's facing the repercussions that you're scared of, but the sensational feeling after which you overcome a fear makes it all worthwhile. Whether it is conquering a fear of exams, something as extreme as holding a snake or something as simple as writing this blog, I feel a sense of invincibility. I decided to go a step further and try and describe that invincibility, and came up with two types.

As mentioned in my previous blogs, I am now starting to accept that I am not superman. The ability to be less judgmental and to keep an open mind has helped me regress from this. It got to the point where I was walking out of lectures and seminars, because I thought I knew it all and was too good to learn. Even if I did (I didn't), this is nothing other than ignorance and a shameful attitude towards life. Anyway, this is a type of invincibility that boasts pride and deniability that isn't a bad trait to have, but too much of it can be be stupid, look immature and is ultimately dangerous.

The second type, and my preferred one, is much more pleasant surrounding itself around happiness. We all have different fears to conquer and overcome, but for me it was something so simple as talking to people. Whether this was in a bar, the tennis team or even in the street, I just could not bring myself to do it. I had a monkey on my back that just would not let me do it and used to deny that I had any problem with talking to people, which just dragged me further and further away from doing so. It all came down to lack of self-confidence and paranoia of what people would think of what I was saying. I do not know what or when it was exactly, but something has switched in my mind and that monkey has now halved in size. Although I am not 100% there, I am now able to go up to talk to people about absolutely anything. I finally feel I am being myself which, although has taken longer than I had hoped, is the most relieving feeling I have felt to date.

How long this will continue I do not know. But it has made me realise that the best way of overcoming your fears is to face up to them right there and then. It is no good to keep putting it off as the anxiety will only build up even more. Try thinking about which type you fit in with currently and the one you hope to one day indulge in.

Are you on Twitter? @DanOverboardNJ